The week leading up to Shelby’s birth was so emotionally draining I seriously didn’t know how I could have enough energy for labor itself.
On Monday February 27th Pat and I spent seven hours at Loma Linda University Children’s Hospital. We arrived at 5pm and spent the next seven hours timing contractions and walking the halls. Pat kept me in high spirits the entire time even when I would break down in tears telling him “this is not how I wanted her to be born” and “I don’t want her to be born here!” As each hour passed the contractions got more intense. I thought for sure that I was in early labor and just waiting for the contractions to start making change to my cervix.
I was checked when I first arrived and was told I was 2cm dilated, 60% effaced but baby was at a -3 station.
I think because Shelby was still so high there was no pressure on my cervix to help it dilate. Around midnight we were sent home due to no cervical change. We decided to go to a hotel that was near the Birth Center in case I did end up going into real labor. We would just go to the Birth Center like planned. The contractions kept up until 4am or so and I finally was able to get some sleep When we woke up I was so disappointed that labor hadn’t started.
We visited my midwife that morning and talked about the night before. We scheduled another appointment for Thursday along with another NST and BPP.
Pat and I spent the day walking around trying to help Shelby engage. My midwife gave me suggestions on getting my pelvis to open more and help her come down.
Thursday(March 1st) morning….. I was a wreck. Emotionally I couldn’t handle being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling her move, feeling her tiny hiccups and having her all to myself. I had spent the last 38 weeks getting to know this little person and the anticipation of holding her in my arms was almost unbearable. I had dreamed of what she would look like my entire pregnancy. I had prayed and hoped for her for so long, I just couldn’t wait to have her in my arms.
We pulled up to the Birth Center Thursday morning and as soon as I got to the door there read a sign … “shhh.. birth in progress”
I lost it. I have not cried or been that upset since the miscarriage a year ago. In my mind I was saying “that should be me”. But it wasn’t, it was someone else having her water birth. The birth she had planned for for nine months.
The midwife said that when she got the call that morning she truly thought it was me in labor. Yep. I cried more. She asked me if I wanted her to try and strip my membranes, she tried but said I was only a fingertip dilated and she could stretch me to .5 a cm, but baby was now -2 station.
I know each Dr/midwife/nurse who does an internal can all have different numbers, but for one to say I was 2cm three days prior to now only being maybe .5 cm was a big let down. I agreed with my midwife we would wait over the weekend before deciding anything depending on what the perinatal Dr. said that afternoon.
My appointment with the perinatal office was at 1:30. I was hooked up to the NST and I sat there in the dark quiet room listening to Shelby’s heart rate and feeling her have the hiccups. I could have stayed there all day enjoying these last moments being pregnant. Still thinking we would wait over the weekend before deciding anything. I was only 41 weeks and the midwife had told me she delivered a mom at 42w2d so I knew we still had time.
We then moved onto the BPP and they also wanted to do a fetal weight. When the ultrasound tech was done she said the baby looked to be at least eight and a half pounds. I was shocked because Shelby did not feel like she was eight pounds. I did not look like I had an eight pound baby in me either.
The perinatal Dr of course freaked me out with all his Dr. mumbo jumbo talk about fetal distress, still birth and all the other bad things that happen with going post date. Even though my placenta was grade 2 and my fluid level was 23. My fluid level on Monday was 21 so it actually had gone up in the past few days.
He suggested I get induced and the sooner the better. Pat and I decided we would go back to my midwife to talk to her about it. We talked for over an hour and decided on doing the induction the next morning. This would allow me to get a good nights sleep and Shelby one last chance to come on her own.
I had had an induction birth with Samantha and a completely natural birth with Sarah and I wanted the natural birth again…. but that was not going to happen.