MommyMandy l Texas Mom Blog

putting a smile on for the rest of the world

For anyone who has ever gone through loss.. ANY kind of loss you know how hard it is to put a smile on our face for the rest of the world.

Two weeks ago we suffered yet another pregnancy loss. It sucks. plain sucks! And for the past two weeks I have had to put a smile on and pretend everything is alright. That I am fine and it’s no big deal.

But in all honesty I feel like people are ignoring me now, and purposely staying away. Before the loss those people were messaging me or calling me daily. I guess sometimes people just would rather stay away than say things that could be taken wrong, or they might not even know what to say.

I know I have a hard time with my words. And a simple I am sorry is more than enough. Sometimes though I guess I would rather people sa nothing.

I am beyond sick of hearing “It’s God’s Will” It’s like you are saying we weren’t good enough. Or God is angry at us.

I am tire of pretending to be fine, because I have to see it 1,000 times a day and hear about all my friend’s pregnancies and seeing the baby’s heartbeat or finally finding it on the home Doppler. I am tired of putting a smile on my face. I am tired of feeling like a failure.

I think the hardest part of this process is that the process is still NOT OVER… I have a constant daily reminder of what could have been.

I remember going through this same thing three years ago, before having Shelby and I prayed I would never go through that pain again. a tiny piece of my heart is forever gone and I just want to move forward……

I am truly grateful that these three are here daily.. daily reminders of how lucky I am.






About the Author

Amanda Acuña an influential Mom Blogger. She created MommyMandy as an online resource to the parenting community. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has three daughters, ages 15,12, 6 and a son who is 2. They currently reside in Texas.

7 Responses to “putting a smile on for the rest of the world”

  1. kristin says:

    I am so sorry that you are so heart broken. Wishing I could take it all away. Sending you peace and love!

  2. Rebecca Orr says:

    I am sorry for your loss Amanda. I know how hard this is for you.

  3. So sorry for your loss

  4. Betsy Barnes says:

    So very sorry. Some people don’t know what to say, so they probably feel it best not to bother you. You are a very strong woman, thank you for sharing 🙂

  5. Rosey says:

    I’m really, really sorry to hear. I didn’t know.

  6. Katie Sexton says:

    I did not know, I am sorry, it is never easy, the way I have always looked at it is that I am a mommy to a angel. Hugs.

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