MommyMandy l Texas Mom Blog

putting a smile on for the rest of the world

For anyone who has ever gone through loss.. ANY kind of loss you know how hard it is to put a smile on our face for the rest of the world.

Two weeks ago we suffered yet another pregnancy loss. It sucks. plain sucks! And for the past two weeks I have had to put a smile on and pretend everything is alright. That I am fine and it’s no big deal.

But in all honesty I feel like people are ignoring me now, and purposely staying away. Before the loss those people were messaging me or calling me daily. I guess sometimes people just would rather stay away than say things that could be taken wrong, or they might not even know what to say.

I know I have a hard time with my words. And a simple I am sorry is more than enough. Sometimes though I guess I would rather people sa nothing.

I am beyond sick of hearing “It’s God’s Will” It’s like you are saying we weren’t good enough. Or God is angry at us.

I am tire of pretending to be fine, because I have to see it 1,000 times a day and hear about all my friend’s pregnancies and seeing the baby’s heartbeat or finally finding it on the home Doppler. I am tired of putting a smile on my face. I am tired of feeling like a failure.

I think the hardest part of this process is that the process is still NOT OVER… I have a constant daily reminder of what could have been.

I remember going through this same thing three years ago, before having Shelby and I prayed I would never go through that pain again. a tiny piece of my heart is forever gone and I just want to move forward……

I am truly grateful that these three are here daily.. daily reminders of how lucky I am.

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About the Author

Amanda Acuña an influential Mom Blogger created MommyMandy as an online resource to the parenting community. She has three daughters, ages 16,13,7 and a son who is 4. They currently reside in Texas.

7 Responses to “putting a smile on for the rest of the world”

  1. kristin says:

    I am so sorry that you are so heart broken. Wishing I could take it all away. Sending you peace and love!

  2. Rebecca Orr says:

    I am sorry for your loss Amanda. I know how hard this is for you.

  3. So sorry for your loss

  4. Betsy Barnes says:

    So very sorry. Some people don’t know what to say, so they probably feel it best not to bother you. You are a very strong woman, thank you for sharing 🙂

  5. Rosey says:

    I’m really, really sorry to hear. I didn’t know.
    🙁

  6. Katie Sexton says:

    I did not know, I am sorry, it is never easy, the way I have always looked at it is that I am a mommy to a angel. Hugs.

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