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One year later…..

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

wow…. to think back one year ago… one whole year ago I felt like my whole world was crashing, I still remember thinking “how could God be so good and love me when he is making me go through this. What have I done to deserve this?” and about a million other questions filled my heard as my heart broke.

“well it looks like it’s a miscarriage”… the ER dr told me.  My husband of course was with me, holding me but I knew he had no idea what to do or how to heal my pain.

I went through Thanksgiving depressed. How could I be thankful during his time? How could I possibly offer thanks, give myself to the Lord when he has made me go through this?

So, I opened my heart and prayed, and asked God for any answer….. one of my favorite songs is Hungry (falling on my knees), the only thing I could do was pray by using this song…..

Hungry, I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry

So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart
Is living for

Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know
Your touch restores my life

I did have many things to be thankful for, my mind was cloudy with grief and disbelief… but then I saw these little faces.

These two little people are who got me through the worst Holiday Season of my life. I know they will never know just what they did for me but every day seeing them happy and laughing go me one day closer to feeling better.

I will still never understand why God felt I needed to go through that heartbreak, and pain when I did. But I do think that he will never give me anything I can not handle, and I feel like it made me stronger.

Here we are a year later and we have a tiny little miracle on the way. My husband said it best… “It just wasn’t our time yet. When the time is right for us it will happen.”

Isaiah 48:17

This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:”I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you,  who directs you in the way you should go.

About the Author

Amanda Acuña an influential Mom Blogger. She created MommyMandy as an online resource to the parenting community. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has three daughters, ages 14,11, 5 and a son who is 2. They currently reside in Texas.

10 Responses to “One year later…..”

  1. Sunshine Bourque says:

    Happy Thanksgiving. That was beautiful and so well put. Thank you for reminding me of all the things I am thankful for, and for sharing your story with us!

  2. courtney b says:

    great post.. have a happy thanksgiving!

  3. Mandy says:

    What a beautiful story this Thanksgiving. I have also suffered a miscarriage and my 2 children helped me through it without being aware. I had 3 more children following that painful loss. The Lord does know what’s best and guides us along the way. Enjoy your last weeks of pregnancy, there’s nothing better than bringing new life into this world!

  4. Michelle Sheffield says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I miscarried many years before I had my son who’s about to turn 5, but the hardest holiday for me was 5 years ago when I was pregnant. It’s a complex situation, but my son inside me kicking was what got me through the death of my boyfriend. The horomones seriously took my state of mind over. Feeling him inside me & hearing his heartbeat were the only things that got me through life at the worst time in my entire life. Now looking into his eyes and seeing his happiness is conviction in my soul that God had a plan and the loss was part of his plan.

  5. How beautiful. I became pregnant at 42 and wow what an eye opener. I went through a series of really bad experiences and the final was a car accident with my 7 week old. I was in so much pain and suffering depression. I went to a chiropractor and she saw how bad I was emotionally and she invited me to her church. I went because they had nursery service and I needed a break. I got saved literally and met my boyfriend in bible study when I least expected it and he loves us both. What a wild ride, but he prospered me and my baby for sure.

  6. Judy Bradley says:

    So Happy for your new one on the way! It is difficult at times to understand our trials and recognize that God is still with us and loves us always. I have gone through 2 miscarriages (one with twins) and had a 5yr daughter and an 18yr old son die and that pain was and is indescribable – but God has been here to hold me up and keep me going!

  7. Melinda Gordon says:

    thanks for the beautiful blog and sharing, I am so happy to see how the Lord has blessed you after your terrible loss. God Bless!!!

  8. Eileen says:

    All our heartaches could never add up to the joy our family brings. We don’t always understand, but the faith of our future and the wisdom to know our blessings is what gets us through. Yes, what a difference a year brings and often even a single day. It has been a privilege to follow your journey!

  9. Eileen says:

    So very, very glad things worked out for you. ::hugs::

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