I am sitting here, staring at Shelby who is now nine days old. I can not believe how fast these nine days have just flown by. I wish I could freeze time and live in this moment with my three babies forever.
This past week we haven’t really started any kind of routine. We pretty much nurse on demand and it can be every hour to hour and a half. She nurses for at least half an hour, sometimes longer. I have noticed that she pretty much is awake all day long with only a few good naps, But at night time she sleeps wonderfully. She wakes up three times at night to nurse and loves to snuggle with me.
The girls are in love with their sister. The first thing they do when they wake up is go kiss Shelby and the last thing they do before bed is kiss Shelby good night. Samantha wants to change her diaper really bad, but I told her to just wait.
Most of you know I have been dealing with the birth experience, the disappointment in myself, and the fact that I was no longer pregnant. The last time I wasn’t pregnant I didn’t even know if we would ever have another baby, it’s weird how empty I feel. I carried around this perfect little person for over nine months and in a second she was out and all I had left to show for the past nine months was stretch marks and a deflated stomach.
So many times this past week I found myself reaching to rub my stomach, or waiting to feel a kick. Bust instead I dealt with the horrible cramps from my uterus shrinking back down to pre-pregnancy size. Or a very itchy stomach as my skin that had been stretched was trying to heal.
The engorgement of my body making milk to feed this little person hurt so bad. So many times I thought “What was I thinking? Put her back inside me!”
Each day gets better, each day Shelby and I learn more about each other and are falling into a perfect harmony of mother and baby. I am in love with her little baby cuddles, and her sweet baby smell. I can not help put stroke her delicate features and kiss her silky soft hair.
I stare at this perfect baby all day long and thank the Lord every second for giving me such an amazing gift. I had prayed for her for so long. I still can not believe she is here, and is MY daughter!