MommyMandy l Texas Mom Blog

my friends are amazing

First off I am amazed by the out pouring of compassion and love my friends, both online and in real life have shown towards me.  I love that my friends can tell me that there is nothing they can say that will make me feel better, and then they say this f**king sucks! And it does suck!

I am starting to get past the bitter stage, you know the part where you get angry because crack addicts can get pregnant and have babies after babies, or people who live on welfare have babies after babies… while couples who can support their children, and have so much love and offer the world to a child struggle with fertility. …. yes, I am starting to get past this stage and anxious to move on.

My friend Maureen came and found me at work today and said “don’t worry, we know in a few weeks you’ll be knocked up again” I laughed, it was great for someone to make fun comments like that, even though she knows of the fertility issues, it was great to just laugh with my friends.

Each day this past week I have had more calls, emails, texts and comments with love and support from my family and friends. Without you I would still be crying in my bed.  Each day another friend or coworker tells me their story, we talk and while I feel sad for their loss as well I guess it’s nice to know I am not alone. I know that sounds bad because I don’t want any woman to ever feel this kind of pain and heartache, but talking about our losses and our pain helps…. a lot.

While the pain gets better, I don’t think I will ever forget. 10 years down the road I’ll think of what this baby could have been, what kind of personality would he/she have? Would they have looked like me or like their big sisters.. questions that will only be answered when I meet our little angel in Heaven.

Thank you.. to all of you. From the bottom of my heart I appreciate all of you.

About the Author

Amanda Acuña an influential Mom Blogger. She created MommyMandy as an online resource to the parenting community. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has three daughters, ages 14,11, 5 and a son who is 2. They currently reside in Texas.

15 Responses to “my friends are amazing”

  1. kristin says:

    That was beautiful.

  2. Eileen says:

    You make my heart hurt too…it does help to share the same story. It is not bad at all to want people to understand. I had to laugh at your office friend story though. truly out loud. I was there over 25 years ago but did not have the fertility struggle. I do have family who have and it is heart breaking. There are so many who would be “superhero” parents and never get the chance. It makes me feel so very lucky and also the very deepest sympathy in the world for those who struggle…because i am so lucky and blessed indeed.

  3. Amanda says:

    I understand the pain you and your husband must be experiencing, but I can tell you that it DOES get better. I lost my twins at 22 weeks. That was about 6 years ago. True, I have not forgotten them, but the pain has been replaced by understanding. And now, 6 years later I have another daughter, a son, and expecting our last little girl in February. (this is the only one that has been “planned”) And you’re right. It was so easy for me to get pregnant when I couldn’t afford it. Then my husband and I decided we were in a good place and wanted one more, it took almost a year! UGH. Something about that just seems backwards.

  4. andrea d says:

    awww ~ I am so sorry for your pain..I just started reading your blog bot to long ago and I some your posts really touch me! This being one of them

  5. Eve 2morrow says:

    Good Friends are the best thing we can have in that difficult days .You are lucky to have all of them
    Me too can’t imagine my life without my friends who taught me alot in life.
    Sorry for your babey and hope to have another beautiful one soon.

  6. Kristin Morris says:

    Amanda the fact that you are so in tune with your feelings tells me that you will get through this and be even stronger than you were before.

  7. W Wangen says:

    It is truly amazing when you find yourself in a very trying situation how many others have been there too. It is comforting to know you are not the only one and are not alone. I think of you daily and pray you can move through each phase stronger and with peace.

  8. Hannah says:

    You moved me to tears.

    It is an unfair truth that there are many mothers out there that should never have been mothers. Yet there is hope, because there are many more moms like you! Will pray that God will bless you with a quiverful! Nothing is too hard for our God

  9. Elizabeth I says:

    Thank you for being both real and grateful for your friends. You are being honest with your emotions yet you see blessings like how great your friends are that you might not have seen otherwise.

  10. Heather H. says:

    Friends are only as good as the people they befriend-I know my friends have gotten me through the worst of times as well and sometimes they may not know the right words to say but just being there and listening are the real blessings. Stay strong!

  11. won says:

    No…you’ll never forget.

    I’m sorry for your loss. Sorry seems like such an insignificant word given all this encompasses. I don’t think they make a big enough word.

    I’m just reading about your journey and I understand. I’m a member of that club you described. Only I had my precious daughter here for 11 years and 51 weeks. In two days, she should be here with me celebrating her 18th birthday. Only she isn’t and I miss her every single day since the cancer killed her.

    Can I say it? It fucking sucks. I’m sorry for all of us…but sorry for our children first. They deserved to live before they had to die.

  12. sasha r. says:

    stay strong girly!!! 😀

  13. Sarah L says:

    It’s amazing how much just talking and sharing can make you feel better. (chocolate can help too)

  14. Crystal says:

    I never met you but i can tell,you and your family are amazing!

  15. Kasey says:

    Oh gosh, I am so sorry. I just found you today through that Rice Krispy deal and I went to make a comment on another post and here I am. I am so glad that you have good support.

    If you ever find that you need some online support or blog reading or whatnot, the ladies around Stirrup Queens are all around phenomenal – blogroll at http://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed/ — I’ve found some great words of encouragement there from time to time.

    Hang in there, much love.

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