and I know that sounds crazy because really I should feel blessed, and I do. Going through this loss has made me appreciate my two beautiful daughters even more. How truly special they are and how perfect they are.
While waiting for the Dr. to confirm what I already knew was happening I cried. Cried because I couldn’t believe this was happening to me, and cried because after 3 years of wanting and praying I finally felt God has answered my prayers to give us another child. I still remember driving home from going to the store, crying and praying to God that if we are meant to have another child to let us. The very next day when I thought my period was coming I decided to waste the last tests I had and to my shock and surprise got a positive test.
This past Monday I had a feeling something was wrong, and again I prayed to God to give me answers. Even if they were ones I didn’t want to hear. The next morning I woke up to bleeding. Well God gave me the answer I prayed but it was not the one I wanted…. but at least I knew what was going on.
While my heart breaks for this loss, I know God heard my prayers, and although I wish instead of dealing with heart ache I was hugging the toilet puking my brains out I know he will never give me anything I can’t handle.
Here is something that I found scary in it’s self… 1 in 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. BUT the good news is my Dr. told me I am more fertile now, than I was 6 months ago, and he strongly believes it wont take us very long to conceive again.
Hubby and I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers. The texts, emails and phone calls. The support we have received over the past week from friends and fmaily is amazing and I truly appreciate it.
We will start our Holiday Season with open arms and accept the Lords plans for us. I finally have closure and am excited for our new chapter to begin and I hope that means a rainbow baby is in our near future!