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How do you write about a birth you didn’t want or planned for?

Shelby is five days old now. Wow… 5 days have just flown by in a blink of an eye. These five days have been amazing yet bittersweet and so emotional all at the same time.

I absolutely loved being pregnant. Well after morning sickness went away and I started feeling her move inside me I was in love. I was in love with her the moment I found out I was pregnant (June 13th to be exact). It didn’t matter to me if we had another baby girl or a boy. We were given the chance to become parents to another sweet angel and I was so excited for the journey.

Right away I knew I wanted a midwife. I knew the one I wanted to use and the birth center I wanted to have the baby at. In fact it was the same midwife and birth center I learned about eight years ago and always said I would use.

We had our first appointment at 6 weeks and I saw my midwife every 2 or 3 weeks. She saw me a lot to ease to my fears, and I adored the entire staff. At each appointment we would talk about things I wanted to happen or didn’t want for our birth. I was so excited to have a water birth, and to get a birth experience the way I wanted. We even put the deposit down for the birthing tub.

For nine months I envisioned the perfect birth with just my husband and midwife and her CNA Ashley. I pictured laboring in the pool and listening to music, laughing with everyone and welcoming our daughter into the world with open arms. And the fact that we would get to go home hours after birth was something I was really excited for!

As I got closer to my due date the fear of not going into labor started to sink in, but I knew my body could do it and that it wouldn’t fail me, it wouldn’t keep me from laboring on my own and denying me my water birth.

I was wrong. 41 weeks came and baby was still so high she just wouldn’t engage. I had over a week of prodomal labor that didn’t change my cervix much. And a super high level of amniotic fluid, which is another reason baby wouldn’t engage. Ultrasound also showed that baby was at least 8.5 pounds.

So it was my choice to either do induction or wait it out. The thought of waiting another week to see IF my body went into labor on it’s own and chance the baby getting even bigger and still needing an induction or doing an induction the next day (Friday March 2nd) was not something I felt very comfortable with.

…… We arrived at the hospital on March 2nd at 8:30am for induction.

About the Author

Amanda Acuña an influential Mom Blogger. She created MommyMandy as an online resource to the parenting community. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has three daughters, ages 14,11, 5 and a son who is 2. They currently reside in Texas.

6 Responses to “How do you write about a birth you didn’t want or planned for?”

  1. Eileen says:

    I love birth stories! Especially when you have so wonderfully allowed us to go through this whole thing with you…

  2. Marcie W. says:

    Amanda, I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you planned. I know that must be tough. With my son (3rd baby) I had a similar yet different decision. At 38wks he was in the high 7lb range. My Dr said if we kept him in we were risking a 10lb baby and a c-section. After 2 successful vaginal births, the thought of a c-section scared the crap out of me. We chose to have the induction & he arrived at 7lbs 14oz at 38wks 4 days. The important thing is that he arrived safely, as did Shelby! {{HUGS}}

  3. Allison says:

    I’m so sorry that you didn’t get your water birth at the birth center. I know it’s so disappointing after looking forward to something for 9 months only to have it turn out completely different than you envisioned. I’m still trying to deal with the fact that they had to knock me out, slice me open, and then sew me back up. It’s just not fair. However, I’m so happy that we both have beautiful baby girls in our arms.

  4. Although it didn’t happen the way you wanted, you know that you did what was best for you and your child and that is all that matters.
    Happiness to you all.

  5. Rachel says:

    Amanda, I am so sorry your birth didn’t go the way you had planned. I know how hard that is to get over. I am a mom to 3 boys yet I was never able to give birth. I ended up with 1 emergency c-section, 1 failed vbac and 1 repeat c-section… not at all what I had hoped for. I don’t even know what a real contraction feels like :(. Just remember.. doesn’t matter how she got here, just that she is here and healthy.

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