If you haven’t read the first few posts leading up to the actual Birth you can find them at Shelby’s Birth Story – The week leading up to her birth and  Shelby’s Birth Story – The Induction. I also wrote about How do you write about a birth you didn’t want or planned for?

These posts have taken me a few weeks to write. It has been a crazy few weeks and trying to mix through my emotions have been hard. But I am doing much better than I was!

Below is the rest of our Birth Story and welcoming our sweet little angel into the world!

The anesthesiologist arrived and Pat, Megan and Ashley were told to go to the waiting room. I HATED being alone in that room with the Dr’s and nurses. I hated that I was going to be getting a huge needle in my back, but at least I wouldn’t feel the contractions anymore.. I guess.

I finally was able to sit up, and of course the contractions eased up a bit. They still hurt like heck and were only giving me 20 seconds in between so you can only imagine sitting up straight with your head bent down and not moving, while having a contraction was incredibly hard and I had to picture Ashley telling me to breathe. I tried to stay calm and breathe through the contractions. I pictured the beach, I pictured Shelby.

But through the whole thing my nurse lost the baby’s heartbeat. They had to stop the entire process to find the heartbeat and start over! Now for anyone who has had an epidural they hurt. So starting over was not something I wanted to do. My nurse said if we can’t get her heart rate back I couldn’t get the epidural. I remember the anesthesiologist got a call for another girl who wanted an epidural, and I heard him tell Shay “well you called first so we came here first”. A few minutes later he was called again and the girl was 8cm… I felt bad for her but so thankful that I told Ashley when I did because to have to wait for him to do the other girl was not something I wanted to do. I remember telling them to hurry up! Finally after the epi. was placed and taped up my back I was able to lay back down.

An oxygen mask was placed on me and all I could hear was the air flow. Slowly my legs started getting numb and the contractions got less and less painful. My left side numbed up first and at first I was scared that I’d only feel the contractions on my right side and I either wanted a natural childbirth or I wanted to be numb. I am not sure how long it took but I did have to have my left side of my body raised a tad higher than my left.

Finally they were done and Pat, Ashley and Megan were allowed back in. I felt so much better, but then my heartburn started. I wanted to sit up a little but I couldn’t.

Once I was finally settled we all chatted some more and Megan started taking some pictures. Ashley and Pat entertained me. I remember telling my nurse that she can up the pitocin now that I was numb. I remember asking Ashley what my contractions were doing. She said they were spacing further apart now but they were much stronger. She showed my the strip of what my contractions were like before my epidural and what they were like after and it was a HUGE difference.

Somewhere around 2:30 am or so, Megan and Ashley went for a walk and Ashley told Pat and I to rest. Instead I told Pat I thought I had to pee. So got to sit there and wait. Maybe it was the pressure of my water about to break that made me feel like I had to pee. who knows.

Megan and Ashley came back and Megan said that she was going to go home but should be back before 6am. My nurse told her we would be here until morning at least before baby came.

Right around 3am we all decided to try and get some sleep. Ashley was next to me and Pat went to lay on the blow up bed. Yes, Pat brought in a blow up bed since we couldn’t get a second recliner.

I remember that just as I was about to fall asleep Shelby moved and kicked me really hard and as she did it my water broke. It felt like it shot out of me. I took off the oxygen mask and said “uhh I think my water broke”. Ashley jumped up and checked. Yes, it sure had. She said she heard it break. I didn’t hear it because of the mask but I sure did feel it. As soon as it broke I started feeling the contractions again.

My water broke at 3:13am.

Ashley went and got the nurse who rushed in. The concern that everyone had was that Shelby was still high when my water broke and was worried about a cord prolapse. I think at that point I got worried. Shay called on her little phone the OB and said “we have decels!!!” I have never seen a staff run around so fast. The OB checked me and said I was 6cm, and I believe baby was at 0 station.

I was feeling the contractions, they were not super painful because of the epidural but I knew when I was having them. Ashley coached me through each contraction, and all I could think about was breathing in deeply to keep the baby’s heart rate up. On the Doppler I could hear Shelby’s little heart beating away and as each contraction came I heard it get muffled. I don’t know if it went down with each contraction or if the contraction just made it sound like it went down. Then all of a sudden I started feeling pressure in my butt. Ashley said that if I didn’t have the epi blocking the feeling it would be the feeling to push, but don’t push. I said “no I wont”.

This was the craziest part, the feelings I was having was so awesome. I literally could feel the baby’s head moving down with each contraction and then when the contraction ended I felt her move back up a little. I think within a few contractions as I told Ashley what I was feeling she asked them to check me. I think she knew that I was complete and baby was going to be born soon.

The OB came and checked and said “”uh yeah.. time to push”

Ashley was going to try and film the birth but the staff had rules of no videography. I was so bummed! Megan had left so we didn’t have anyone to take pictures either. I was even more bummed. I do remember Pat asking me if I wanted him to take pictures, but for that second I got scared and I wanted him desperately next to me. I wish I would have told him to take pics.

Pat and Ashley were both at my side. I held Pat’s hand and Ashley and the OB coached me on pushing. I remember saying oww, I remember pushing as hard as I could, I felt my face getting red, I remember hearing Pat saying “she’s coming” “oh my gosh mommy, here she comes”.

I remember the OB telling the nurses to “get mom ready” They were unsnapping my gown so Shelby and I could have skin to skin.

I only pushed through three contractions. The third one I pushed with everything I had. I felt her head emerge, they pushed my legs up to get her shoulders out and to unwrap the cord around her neck then all of a sudden all the pain was gone.

I threw off the oxygen mask and set up a little to see the baby. I have no idea what the OB was doing, maybe untangling the cord, but I saw Shelby and her legs were curled up and she made a few cries. She was pink and perfectly clean. I said “can I have my baby?”

They placed her on my chest and one of the nurses started wiping her down, I took over to wipe her off, and love her and kiss her. Shelby was perfectly content in my arms. They kept having me move her, they wanted to hear a cry from her. But I think she was content on me, why cry? She had mommy.

I don’t think I could ever forget the way she smelled, how soft and wet she felt and how warm she was. I couldn’t stop kissing her and saying hi and happy birthday to her.

We had asked for delayed cord clamping. I believe they waited a few minutes and the OB was asking if Dad wanted to cut the cord. I think he was mesmerized by Shelby or something because I pushed him and said “Pat cut her cord”.

We spent the next hour just admiring our little girl. I couldn’t believe she was here, she was mine and perfect in every way.

Thankfully Ashley snapped a few pictures for us. (THANK YOU ASHLEY!!!!)

Shelby Rae was born at 4:11am on March 3rd

nine pounds and 20 1/4 inches long.

recap – my water broke at 3:13am – I was 6 cm, Shelby was born 57 minutes later after pushing through three contractions.

I’ll spare you the details of our postpartum stay, but I was so happy when we were released on Monday. I remember putting Shelby in her car seat and then looking back at the hospital thinking “this is it? I can leave?” And for a brief second I felt scared. I felt like a first time mom again. I turned back around and saw my amazing husband looking at me from the driver seat. He was looking at me like I was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. I got in the truck and we took our precious daughter home.

Be sure to first read Shelby’s Birth Story – The week leading up to her birth. It gives the reasoning behind deciding on the induction. Although looking back now I can say I wish I would have waited out the weekend like I had told my midwife. I wish I would have given her just a few more days to come on her own. But rationally I know that because of the situation I am not sure she would have.

I had a good week of strong contractions that had a pattern but then fizzled out or made no progress, which leads me to believe that my cervix did not have the pressure of the baby’s head to help dilate on it’s own.

Below is the boring part of our L&D.

We arrived at the hospital by 8:30 am on Friday March 2nd, 2012. They didn’t have my records or any information on my induction, which was said to have been set up the day before through my midwife’s office. We were put in triage and monitored. It took quite some time for them to get all the papers they needed. Thank goodness I brought my folder with all my records including ultrasound data information. Ashley showed up and waited around with us.

I had a hep, lock placed for when we would need it. Somewhere around 11am we were moved into our L&D room.
I was checked and was 1cm , 60% effaced and -2 station.

I had originally agreed to cervidil. I was told not to get cytotec because there were more risks to it. We waited around for hours for the pharmacy to bring up the cervadil. When the nurse and on call OB finally showed up I was told with the cervadil they would not check me for 12 hours for any progress. They said that cervadil works slower than cytotec and if I got the cytotec they would check me in 4 hours. I decided on the cytotec. It was placed around 2:45pm. This was the same time that we all were hungry and Pat ordered pizza. I was told I had to wait to eat at least half an hour to eat or get up. Around 3:20ish I had pizza and bread sticks. I had every intention to eat and drink as I wanted throughout L&D but after that I had no appetite for anything except for water.  One thing I was happy about is that they let me eat and drink water as I wanted.

After the cytotec was put in I had to also wait at least half an hour before I could get up and walk around. It would also be 4 hours before they would check me to see where I was at. Within 20 minutes of the cytotec being inserted I started having contractions. They started as a dull ache.

As soon as the half hour was up I wanted to get out of bed and use the restroom. This would also give me a little
break from the monitors and allow me to move around and stand up.

6:00pm- shift change. I got an awesome nurse named Shay. She was funny and loved to talk. She was also wonderful about letting me have as much from my birth plan as I could. They had their protocol but she allowed me to have an opinion on everything.

The on call OB was supposed to come back around 6:45pm to check me but it was more like 7:20 or so and Ashley went and asked my nurse to call the OB and check me. I think that was around 7:30pm. The OB said that I was 4cm but baby was still high, and I believe -1 station.

Ashley and I gave each other a high five. YAY for progress! The OB said we could start pitocin now. But since I was already contracting on my own and they were starting to get uncomfortable I asked if we could walk around for a few hours to see if there was any change to my cervix before starting pitocin. She agreed to let me walk and would be back around 9:45 pm to check for progress.

I was finally able to get unhooked from the monitors and walk around. Ashley, Pat and I spent the next two hours walking, laughing and entertaining ourselves. I was still very optimistic at this point and thinking I wouldn’t need a full induction. That I was going into labor on my own and all I needed was the cytotec to get my cervix started. I just knew that when I would get checked again I would be dilated to at least 5com.

We got bored walking and went back to my room around 9pm and just chatted the next hour away.

I think around 10pm the OB came back and checked me. Still 4cm. I felt so deflated. She also stripped my membranes and OMG that hurt so freaking bad. I remember trying to move away from her. Ashley kept telling me to just breath through it… boy did I try to just breath but my goodness it was painful. I was having much stronger and painful contractions and I was so upset that they weren’t doing anything!

This is when I started to really dislike the OB. She proceeded to tell me that I was still only 4cm and that we would start pitocin and if in a few hours I still didn’t make progress we should proceed with a c-section. I remember listening to her talk and just looking at Ashley like “she must be crazy if she thinks I’ll agree to a c-section already!”

The OB also got in my face about how we came in for induction and at what point would I actually let them induce me. I guess I was just hoping that I would go into labor on my own. I remember from when I was in labor with Samantha how painful induced contractions were and how they were nothing like natural contractions. She wanted to break my water and put a monitor on Shelby’s head. I refused to let her break my water. I was only 4cm and at least I had things in my favor with my bag of water still intact.

At this point we had to start pitocin to get my contractions stronger and work on dilating my cervix. I asked Shay if we could start it as low as possible and go up in increments of one. She agreed and started me at a 1. I had already been breathing through contractions with the help of Ashley. I felt like such a wimp because I was only 4cm and the contractions were already hurting pretty bad. I was able to sit up in bed still but I couldn’t  get out of bed and they had to monitor Shelby’s heart rate continuously and of course monitor the contractions.

I remember that the contractions were coming right on top of each other and I would get 20-30 seconds in between them to breath and talk. I would be in a mid sentence when a contraction would start and I couldn’t finish it. I had to concentrate on breathing through the contractions.

Ashley and I decided to start watching Pirates of the Caribbean on Strangers Tides, I am not sure how far we got into it before the contractions kicked up and I really couldn’t concentrate anymore. I was fighting back tears, and thinking “this is just not how I wanted this to happen.”

Megan arrived sometime after 11pm. We all talked, and everyone helped me breath through the contractions. I think around midnight I convinced myself there was no point for me to be in all this pain, the contractions were on top of each other and if I was still only 4cm this could take all night. I couldn’t get out of bed to stand up and hope gravity helped. Laying in bed makes any kind of contraction 1,000 times worse. I gave in and asked Ashley to tell my nurse I wanted an epi. My pitocin was only at a 2 (out of 22 being the highest), and I knew my nurse would just keep upping the pit. and the contractions would only get worse.

(pictures below were after I got my epidural. We didn’t take any pics before my epidural. All these were take between 1:30 am and 2:11 am.)

I felt so disappointed in myself. Everything I didn’t want in my L&D was happening. I didn’t want an induction, I didn’t want any medical interventions and here I was having them all. I think I was so disappointed in myself because I knew I was doing everything my midwife is against. I didn’t want to do an epidural because I wanted to “be like the other moms at the birth center who do it naturally”.

All those years of dreaming about a natural water birth was gone. All those months of talking about what I wanted in our birth with my midwife was gone and I would never have that experience.

The week leading up to Shelby’s birth was so emotionally draining I seriously didn’t know how I could have enough energy for labor itself.

On Monday February 27th Pat and I spent seven hours at Loma Linda University Children’s Hospital. We arrived at 5pm and spent the next seven hours timing contractions and walking the halls. Pat kept me in high spirits the entire time even when I would break down in tears telling him “this is not how I wanted her to be born” and “I don’t want her to be born here!” As each hour passed the contractions got more intense. I thought for sure that I was in early labor and just waiting for the contractions to start making change to my cervix.

I was checked when I first arrived and was told I was 2cm dilated, 60% effaced but baby was at a -3 station.

I think because Shelby was still so high there was no pressure on my cervix to help it dilate. Around midnight we were sent home due to no cervical change. We decided to go to a hotel that was near the Birth Center in case I did end up going into real labor. We would just go to the Birth Center like planned. The contractions kept up until 4am or so and I finally was able to get some sleep When we woke up I was so disappointed that labor hadn’t started.

We visited my midwife that morning and talked about the night before. We scheduled another appointment for Thursday along with another NST and BPP.

Pat and I spent the day walking around trying to help Shelby engage. My midwife gave me suggestions on getting my pelvis to open more and help her come down.

Thursday(March 1st) morning….. I was a wreck. Emotionally I couldn’t handle being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling her move, feeling her tiny hiccups and having her all to myself. I had spent the last 38 weeks getting to know this little person and the anticipation of holding her in my arms was almost unbearable. I had dreamed of what she would look like my entire pregnancy. I had prayed and hoped for her for so long, I just couldn’t wait to have her in my arms.

We pulled up to the Birth Center Thursday morning and as soon as I got to the door there read a sign … “shhh.. birth in progress”

I lost it. I have not cried or been that upset since the miscarriage a year ago. In my mind I was saying “that should be me”. But it wasn’t, it was someone else having her water birth. The birth she had planned for for nine months.

The midwife said that when she got the call that morning she truly thought it was me in labor. Yep. I cried more. She asked me if I wanted her to try and strip my membranes, she tried but said I was only a fingertip dilated and she could stretch me to .5 a cm, but baby was now -2 station.

I know each Dr/midwife/nurse who does an internal can all have different numbers, but for one to say I was 2cm three days prior to now only being maybe .5 cm was a big let down. I agreed with my midwife we would wait over the weekend before deciding anything depending on what the perinatal Dr. said that afternoon.

My appointment with the perinatal office was at 1:30. I was hooked up to the NST and I sat there in the dark quiet room listening to Shelby’s heart rate and feeling her have the hiccups. I could have stayed there all day enjoying these last moments being pregnant. Still thinking we would wait over the weekend before deciding anything. I was only 41 weeks and the midwife had told me she delivered a mom at 42w2d so I knew we still had time.

We then moved onto the BPP and they also wanted to do a fetal weight. When the ultrasound tech was done she said the baby looked to be at least eight and a half pounds. I was shocked because Shelby did not feel like she was eight pounds. I did not look like I had an eight pound baby in me either.

The perinatal Dr of course freaked me out with all his Dr. mumbo jumbo talk about fetal distress, still birth and all the other bad things that happen with going post date. Even though my placenta was grade 2 and my fluid level was 23. My fluid level on Monday was 21 so it actually had gone up in the past few days.

He suggested I get induced and the sooner the better. Pat and I decided we would go back to my midwife to talk to her about it. We talked for over an hour and decided on doing the induction the next morning. This would allow me to get a good nights sleep and Shelby one last chance to come on her own.

I had had an induction birth with Samantha and a completely natural birth with Sarah and I wanted the natural birth again…. but that was not going to happen.